Today, I have the privilege of guest posting for a new friend, Kelly Johnson. Kelly blogs at Grace Notes, a thoughtful spot with words about real life. She is full of wisdom, humor, and encouragement. Please head over and spend a few minutes getting to know her. This one had me cracking up and giving a hearty, “Me, too!” Thank you for the opportunity, Kelly!
Most would consider the opposite of brave to be fearful. I propose that, in marriage, the opposite of brave can be bitter.
I could almost taste the bitterness in my mouth. I hung up the phone, having just given another yes when my heart screamed no. My husband had a benign, time-consuming hobby that took up most of his free time. He considerately asked each day, and I begrudgingly consented each day.
From time-to-time, the internal conflict between love and misery would rise to the surface. I would explode about something, usually unrelated. Then I resumed stuffing my emotions and handing out yeses with pretend grace.
I could have been brave. I could have asked him to come home, told him that I needed him. Bravery could have led me to discuss the insecurities that his behavior fed. Being brave meant being vulnerable and I was too strong and independent to go there. (Read more at Grace Notes.)