Intimacy

How to Date Your Mate Without Spending Money

My husband and I lived on a thin red line in our early years of marriage. I was in OT school which kept me from working. His first job out of college paid well, but the starting salary was “just enough.” I remember eating our dinners on an overturned laundry basket because we couldn’t afford a dining room table. When we wanted to be really fancy, we set up the ironing board on [Read more...]

The Power Found in the Faith of a Friend

After a difficult week of doing the hard work sometimes required in marriage, I picked up my phone to find a voice message from a friend. A few months before, we made a covenant to pray for one another’s marriages weekly. That week, I didn’t feel like praying. Hope seemed too far away. However, as she prayed, hope traveled the hundreds of miles from her home to mine. Without knowing how much [Read more...]

It’s Time to Break Up with Your Imaginary Boyfriend

As little girls, we have no trouble dreaming up Prince Charming. We start with a cute guy on television and endow him with the noble character traits they read about in books. During our teen years, we dream about the quarterback or the quiet poet from across the high school classroom. While dating, we measure our prospective partners to our dream guy until we find a man who fits the description. [Read more...]

Eliminating the Dead Zone in Your Home with a Little Salt

I have a dual personality. Just call me “Two Face.” I am one person to my children and someone different with my spouse. When my sweet children wake, I meet them with hugs and back rubs. I ask them how they slept and if they had good dreams. I sometimes offer to fix them breakfast. I pour sugar all over our interactions. It doesn’t matter how many times I told them to get in the [Read more...]

The Sacred Connection of Flavor to the Heart

I haven’t had a bite of my grandma’s coconut cake in over twenty-five years, but I can still taste it. It is remarkable how deeply connected our taste buds are to our hearts. Never does a bite of coconut cake pass my lips that I don’t think of her. I think Grandma’s coconut cake was the best on this side of heaven. As the knife sliced through the three-layer cake, the smell of vanilla and [Read more...]

Returning to the Adventure of Doing Life Together

After eighteen years of marriage, my husband and I have this thing figured out. We know who takes out the garbage, who pays the bills, and who gives the little one a bath on which night. He is a night owl and I am an early bird. He likes to brew coffee and I like to drink it. I know he hates to fold clothes and he knows I hate to scrub the shower. We make great roommates. Married people should be [Read more...]

What Matters Most to You Today?

“Take a deep breath. Get present in the moment and ask yourself what is important this very second.”  ~Greg McKeown, Essentialism.  There are moments in life when time seems to stand still. Moving the tassel across the top of your graduation cap will make you forget the drama of the past few years and relish your dreams instead. The past and future meld together when you stand at the altar [Read more...]

Five Reasons to Date Your Mate When It’s Cold at Home

Marriage has its seasons. In the spring, love is new and exciting. Summer brings fun and familiarity. Couples frequently bustle about in the busyness of autumn. Winter is the hardest season to endure. In the winter months of marriage, ice forms around one heart—or both. Conversation is stilted and business-like. Pointed questions receive harsh answers. Cuddles and kisses are replaced with [Read more...]

Does Absence Make the Heart Grow Fonder or Colder?

Does absence really make the heart grow fonder or does it turn cold during separation? I recently got to test this old adage out with two back-to-back weekends of separation from my husband. A few weeks ago, I traveled  to Austin, TX alone to meet up with friends. I left behind 2 sick children and one brave dad. All weekend, my mind wandered back home. I imagined a fussy baby, a sassy [Read more...]

The Battle for Your Heart

Dear Tired and Lonely Self, You are in the middle of one of the hardest periods in life–raising two small children. You work all day, then you come home to work some more. It is often a single-parent gig as hobbies take your husband away on evenings and weekends. You won’t admit it to yourself, but you are becoming bitter and angry. You are on the battlefield and you don’t even [Read more...]