Teetering Between Anxiety and Adventure

anxiety and adventure

This is a sentimental time of year for me. One year ago, on the morning of my 37th birthday, I wrote my very first blog post. I didn’t publish it. I just held it in storage as I worked my way through blogging tutorials trying to figure out the technical side of things. One year ago, I decided to be a writer. Or call myself a writer. Or write. I can’t quite figure out the semantics of this thing (and I call myself a writer!).

I spent a month teetering between anxiety and adventure. If I start a blog, will anyone read it? What if people really do read it? What if it doesn’t take off? What if it does take off? Am I good enough? Will they like me?

One year in, I am 100% satisfied with the journey I started last October. My numbers aren’t phenomenal. No one has called to interview me. There are no viral posts in my repertoire. But this adventure has been life-changing.

anxiety and adventure

I developed deep, personal relationships with women who were strangers a year ago. I attended a writers’ conference. I went to a party at Jen Hatmaker’s house. I have been tweeted by people I admire (#whatsup, Jeff Goins!). I guest posted for Perfection Road, Money Saving Mom, and Amber Haines. I get to be a part of The Glorious Table, an amazing, grace-filled space on the web.

These are all good things. Great things. Results far beyond my imagination. But, greater than any of those mind-blowing highlights, I am living my God-ordained adventure. I am doing my Gospel thing.

And I have this to say to you:

Those anxious thoughts skittering around in the back of your mind whispering you have nothing to add, nothing worth saying–those are lies. When you sit to write, fingers perched at the keyboard, and you hesitate, don’t give in to the temptation to check email, Facebook, or the latest on the Donald. And for goodness sakes, don’t check your analytics!

You sit there and put your heart on the screen. Someone out there feels it, too.

Someone needs to hear about the fight you had with your teen. The fact that you just locked yourself in the bathroom to breathe while your toddler sticks his fingers under the door, begging you to come out. They need to know you ran to Sonic instead of your bedroom because ice cream and Snickers go together so much better than you and your husband. Or maybe they need to hear your prayer was answered after years on your knees. They need to know God is faithful when there seems to be no answer.

anxiety and adventure

Don’t let rejection letters stop you. Don’t let negative comments silence you. Don’t let small numbers deter you. And don’t you dare let yourself believe for one minute that what you are doing doesn’t matter. You are doing the work of the Gospel, my friends. You are the voice crying out, “Come, follow me! We will find our way together.”

If you are unsure of which scares you most, anxiety or adventure–JUMP! Take one step toward your call. Just one. Write that blog post. Submit the application. Volunteer to serve in a ministry. Call the acquaintance you want to know better. As you let go of the anxiety, remember this: I am cheering you on. And Jesus is, too!

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6)

I am linking up with Suzie Eller’s #livefreeThursday. Head over to her lovely web-room and visit with other bloggers as we discuss anxiety and adventure.

27 Comments

  1. <3
    thank you for the encouragement!

  2. And you have already done such a professional, fantastic job. Keep at it–I love whatever God is calling you to!

  3. I have been struggling to find my words in the last few weeks. It’s been a rough patch…not exactly sure why. But today, your words, encouraged me, inspiring me to push through. The Lord used you to answer prayer today. Thank you!

  4. Beautiful, encouraging post, Kelly! You’re getting started story is mine too, only I dithered about it much longer!

  5. Your growth inspires me, Kelly. Thank you for writing.

    • And thank YOU for reading, Amy! We write all of these words and wonder if anyone will read them, you know? When someone stops by, it puts wind in my sails!

  6. Our stories are similar and were happening almost at the same time, as I’ve been blogging for about a year as well. No great success stories here, but an awareness of God’s faithfulness in providing time for the reading and the writing, and a lovely community of godly women to learn from and add my voice to, at times.
    Blessings and thanks for sharing your words of inspiration!

  7. I’ve on;y just started blogging about a month ago and your post was so encouraging to me. “Together” is one of my favorite words. I want to be the “together” for people pursuing their dreams and not sure what to do next. Thanks for your encouragement!

  8. Oh the writing adventure…Filled with anxiety we have to stamp down to fulfill our calling. Thank you for your encouragement on this journey!

  9. Exactly what I needed to hear! I love when that happens! Divine intervention! Thank you for sharing encouragement just when the voice in my head’s been trying to convince me I can’t do it. Coming to you from #livefreeThursday, Cindy

  10. My Blogging Birthday is November 2, and I will be turning ONE also. Of course, I just veered to the left a few months ago and started my second…AAAH…blog. So I guess I will get to celebrate two bloggiversarys. That said, I agree with everything you said in your post, and thank you for sharing. Our words matter, whether one or one thousand are listening…

  11. You have been such an encourager to me! Can’t wait to see what the next year holds!! <3

  12. Congratulations. This is my third year blogging. It took me about 1 1/2 to find my path. You seem to be doing great. 🙂 I love your categories and your writing. I can’t wait to read more.

  13. What a great perspective. I love that you are happy where you are and encourage others to be happy where they are in their journey as well. I also declared myself a writer and then started second guessing myself. The minute I own it, stop belittling my ability and just get to the work of writing and doing what I love; it’s all so much easier. And your advice to not check analytics is right on!

  14. Oh, I love this. You are an amazing writer, and you get it. Someone needs to hear your struggle, your truth today. Someone will always say “Oh my, me too” and breathe a sigh of relief, even if it’s not publicly.

    • Thank you for the encouragement, Lauren! I have been blessed with so many “me, too” moments reading the words of other writers. The gift of second is always a welcome package!

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