My small group recently did a few weeks of Wisdom Seeking, a Q & A session where we shared our thoughts on questions presented by members of our group. We went through The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst and used the remaining weeks to practice what we had learned–wisdom seeking.
Let the wise listen and add to their learning,
and let the discerning get guidance.
I enjoyed the Q & A so much that I thought I would bring it here to share with you. If we are struggling through some of these issues, I bet some of you are, too.
This is the first question we tackled:
What age should my daughter wear makeup?
I have 2 daughters that are in or near the tweenage years. (When did tweenage become a thing?!) Both have always enjoyed playing dress-up, including the bright blue eye shadow and old high heels. As we enter double digits, they now want to carry that dress-up into real life. Shoe shopping often involves the
argument discussion about high heels. And then there’s the lip gloss! I am thankful that I have baby wipes around to wipe bright pink lips that show up between home and church on Sunday mornings. I am fighting the transition from girl to young lady, at least in their appearance. It is a hard fought battle as culture proves to be a vicious foe.
I didn’t start wearing makeup until college. I am a little lost in the most graceful way to transition my girls from baby face to highlighted beauty. My friend, Brooke, offered wise counsel. She advised taking them to a cosmetic counter for a make-over and instruction time when they get to the makeup “age” (whatever age parents decide is appropriate). I love that idea!
Dannah Gresh offers guidance for a precursor to such an event in her book, 8 Great Dates for Mom’s and Daughters. She offers a template (instructions and devotion) for a facial day even before they are ready to wear makeup. This date will teach your daughter the meaning of real physical beauty.
This date is really about getting in front of the mirror and identifying both your and your daughter’s unique beauty strengths…from head to toe. (Dannah Gresh, 8 Great Dates for Mom’s and Daughters)
I found my favorite piece of advice on the Secret Keeper Girl blog. Charmaine Porter points out that the question is not what age is appropriate but what is the motivation for wearing make-up.
Mom, when you see that your daughter’s motivation to wear makeup is pure, not for beauty or not to look older, take notice. When you see that your girl understands that her inner beauty is more important than her outer beauty so she isn’t afraid to leave the house with an uncovered blemish, she just might be ready for you to take her to the nearest Sephora or Ulta for some fun! But ultimately, the answer of when should my daughter start wearing makeup is answered by “when Mom and Dad say it’s okay” – plain and simple. (Dannah Gresh and Suzi Weibel, It’s Great to Be a Girl)
The underlying truth in the answer to this question is found in Proverbs 31:30.
Charm is deceptive and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
No matter what age we decide is appropriate for wearing makeup, the heart of the matter is the heart. If we teach our daughters to fear the Lord, the right motivation will be there. That will make them beautiful inside and out!
Do you have some wisdom to share? I would love to hear your input in the comments below. If you have a question in need of some wisdom seeking, let me know in the comments below.
One of the greatest protections against the culture’s push to make your daughter mature too quickly is quality connecting time with you. (Dannah Gresh, 8 Great Dates for Moms and Daughters)
Though nothing is impossible with God, the foundation of building an emotionally healthy teen girl–one who stands free of the norms of an at-risk peer culture–is built between the ages of 8 and 12, when she is a tween. (Dannah Gresh, Six Ways to Keep the Little in Your Girl)
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